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or interested in ordering a product via telephone
then please call us at +01.773.267.1933 (M-Sa 8a-8p CST) or Email Us!


ONE OF A KIND
CLOSEOUTS


If You Snooze... You Lose!!!!!
As always, closeouts are non-refundable!

A Few Products Are Under A Buck...

NEW CLOSEOUTS
ARE LISTED AT BOTTOM!


Just click the below contact information to receive our
company name, address, email, telephone/fax number and/or online payment email(s)!

CONTACT INFORMATION


Stop Illegal Immigration Dollar

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Email Us First To See If We Still Have These Products In Stock...
Pricing Changes Weekly!


CLOSEOUT #1

Alien Fetus in Bottle (filled with water) - Cool Keychain!

Qty Available: 500 - Tell them you found the fetus in backyard!!

#FAH-CLOSEOUT1 - $0.79 each
(SRP: $2.95)



CLOSEOUT #2

Mt. St. Helen's Volcanic Ash (circa: 1980)

Qty Available: 230 - Very, Very Rare Collectible!

#FAH-CLOSEOUT2 - $2.00 each
(SRP: $4.95+ - $$$$)



CLOSEOUT #3

Hand-Cut Stone Elephant w/ Baby Elephant in Belly! (4" in height)

Qty Available: 5 - This is some quality workmanship!!

#FAH-CLOSEOUT3 - $9.95 each
(SRP: $24.95+ - $$$$)



CLOSEOUT #4

HOW YOU CAN MAKE A FORTUNE FROM
FOREIGN FINANCIAL MASTERMINDS...

"Dear Wiz; When you said you were the Ďmaster of unusualí you were absolutely right. In fact, I believe you were underestimating yourself. I just received the premier issue of Opportunity Shockamania, and Iím very impressed. You live up to every claim you make in your advertisement and then a whole lot more. This journal is jammed-packed with information on everything from how-to make big money with your very own home-based business to exotic food recipes and hundreds of free offers that no one would never know of (unless, of course, they had a copy of Opportunity Shockamania). Your journal is well worth its small price tag, and I would highly recommend it to anyone looking for hours of entertainment, and nearly 4 pounds of hard-hitting, money-making information." -- Well-Known Chief Editor - (distributed to 1,500,000+ international entrepreneurs)

Qty Available: 3 - An Abundance of UNUSUAL & UNIQUE Information!

 

CLOSEOUT #5

It's That Time Of Year To Cause Mayhem...

Peanut Knife (key-lock) - Actually Shaped Like A Peanut! Has one blade which locks in place when open. Also has a handy keychain attached. All metal construction... Cleverly designed!

Qty Available: 1170 - This COOL product will get some laughs!

#FAH-CLOSEOUT5 - $3.99 each
(SRP: $4.99)

#FAH-CLOSEOUT5-500 - $995 - $1.99 each for Quantity of 500
(SRP: $4.99 - additional $20 shipping/handling)

 

CLOSEOUT #6

Attach a few to a baseball hat or beret...

Risque Pins - Spicy, Naughty, Humorous Slogans & Sayings!

Qty Available: 144 - If you require ATTENTION then attach a few to a hat or shirt!

#FAH-CLOSEOUT6 - $2.99 each
(our word choice) (SRP: $4.99)

 

CLOSEOUT #7

Standard decks of playing cards with rebel flags, skulls, motorcycles and other biker designs on the backs.

Qty Available: 24 - Great cards for those Biker-types!

#FAH-CLOSEOUT7 - $0.99 each
(one design per deck - our choice) (SRP: $2.49)

 

CLOSEOUT #8

MAGIC LIPSTICK: Real lipstick that's green in color... But changes to pinks or reds when it touches the skin. Good quality, long-lasting lipstick. Real lipstick that's assorted in color...but changes to pinks or reds when it touches the skin. Good quality, long-lasting lipstick. Real lipstick that's green in color...but changes to pinks or reds when it touches the skin. Good quality, long-lasting lipstick.

Qty Available: 12 - For the woman who likes Change!

#FAH-CLOSEOUT8 - $0.99 each
(our color choice) (SRP: $2.99)

 

CLOSEOUT #9

Paper-mache handmade frogs (painted too)

Qty Available: 12 - These look so real and weigh nothing (male or female??)!

#FAH-CLOSEOUT9 - $0.99 each
(SRP: $1.99)

 

CLOSEOUT #10

GENUINE ATOMIC ROCK... It walks, talks, flies, kills bugs, drinks beer, tells dirty jokes....Lots of other things too. Comes with a printed instruction guide on the care, feeding and breeding of these wacky critters. Its actually a strange looking but pretty rock in a see-thru display bag. However, you'll bust a gut laughing when you read the comical 700 word instruction guide.

Qty Available: 6 - Everybody needs a rock as a friend!!

#FAH-CLOSEOUT10 - $0.99 each
(our rock choice) (SRP: $3.98)

 

CLOSEOUT #11

Styro-foam gliders that really fly. Kids love them. Strange shapes like spoons, goblins, hammers, steaks, dragons, hotdogs, etc... Each in a printed envelope packet.

Qty Available: 48 - These are pretty neat!

#FAH-CLOSEOUT11 - $0.49 each
(our choice) (SRP: $1.79)

 

CLOSEOUT #12

Self Adhesive Sticker Designs: Great for toenails & fingernails!

Qty Available: 288 - Make your fingernails shimmer!

#FAH-CLOSEOUT12 - $0.49 each
(SRP: $1.99)

 

CLOSEOUT #13

This book contains 62 special gifts that say "I Love You Mom". Coupons from a big hug to cleaning the bathroom!

Qty Available: 288 - Great for Moms to pass out to their kids!

#FAH-CLOSEOUT13 - $1.49 each
(SRP: $5.95)

 

CLOSEOUT #14

Now you can keep your "Little Black Book" on a keychain... All blank pages!

Qty Available: 288 - Your spouse (or mate) will NEVER know!

#FAH-CLOSEOUT14 - $0.49 one keychain
(SRP: $2.95)

 

CLOSEOUT #15

Mini-Baby Pacifier Earrings... These rascals are really small!

Qty Available: 288 - For the baby in all of us!

#FAH-CLOSEOUT15 - $0.99 pair
(our color choice) (SRP: $2.99)

 

CLOSEOUT #16

Alien / UFO Ceramic Egg with Stand...
Includes FREE "Declassified" Crate

Qty Available: 9 - These are handmade in Moscow!

#FAH-CLOSEOUT16 - $24.95 set
(SRP: $49.99)

 

CLOSEOUT #17

Racing Car Keychain (our color choice - batteries not included)

Qty Available: 1100 - Converts into high-powered flashlight!

#FAH-CLOSEOUT17 - $0.39 keychain
(SRP: $3.99)

 

CLOSEOUT #18

Animation Flipbooks (our choice)

Qty Available: 288 - Comes in handy when you're bored!

#FAH-CLOSEOUT18 - $0.79 book
(our color choice) (SRP: 2.99)

 

CLOSEOUT #19

Snowman Poop

Qty Available: SOLD OUT - An AWESOME Gag for the winter season!

#FAH-CLOSEOUT19 - $0.49 each
(SRP: $1.19)

 

CLOSEOUT #20

4-in-1 Flashlight

Qty Available: SOLD OUT!

#FAH-CLOSEOUT20 - $1.99 each
(our color choice) (SRP: $9.99)

 

CLOSEOUT #21

World's Smallest Kite (size of a sheet of paper)

Qty Available: 288 - It Really Works!

#FAH-CLOSEOUT21 - $0.59 each
(our color choice) (SRP: $2.99)

 

CLOSEOUT #22

Alien Button with Blinking Fast Red Eyes

Qty Available: 96 - Inc. batteries (clever on / off)!

#FAH-CLOSEOUT22 - $1.99 each
(SRP: $3.99)

 

CLOSEOUT #23
CLOSEOUT #23a & CLOSEOUT #23b & CLOSEOUT #23c

Collegiate Trading Cards - (c) 1989

Qty Available: 20,000 - Great Stuff (our choice)!

#FAH-CLOSEOUT23 - $0.11 each
(SRP: $$$)

 

CLOSEOUT #24
CLOSEOUT #24a CLOSEOUT #24b CLOSEOUT #24c
CLOSEOUT #24d CLOSEOUT #24e CLOSEOUT #24f
CLOSEOUT #24g CLOSEOUT #24h CLOSEOUT #24i
CLOSEOUT #24j CLOSEOUT #24k CLOSEOUT #24l
CLOSEOUT #24m CLOSEOUT #24n CLOSEOUT #24o
CLOSEOUT #24p CLOSEOUT #24q CLOSEOUT #24r
CLOSEOUT #24s CLOSEOUT #24t CLOSEOUT #24u
CLOSEOUT #24v CLOSEOUT #24w CLOSEOUT #24x
CLOSEOUT #24y

26 Old Postcards From Chicago

Qty Available: 5000 - Great Stuff!

#FAH-CLOSEOUT24-ALL - $9.99 one pack = one of each card
(SRP: $15.99 or more)
*** NOT SOLD SEPERATELY ***